I was checking my email the other day, and I found an email from BabyCenter with the subject line reading "Are you a good mom?" I thought, huh, I try to be. Then I thought, great, what is it I'm not doing now that a good mom should be doing? I clicked on the link because I wanted to see what their version of a good mom was. It seems like everywhere you turn someone is trying to reinvent the meaning of a good mom. The definition is getting more and more involved, with experts and other mothers adding more and more duties that have to be accomplished to qualify as a good mom.
There are a million parenting books and advice columns adding their two cents as to what a good mom should do and what she should accomplish with her kids. They talk about dozens of parenting styles, many of them conflicting with other recommended parenting styles. How are we clueless moms, who are trying to do our best, to know what to do?
I swear, it's enough to make you feel like a bad mom, even when you are doing your best. As if we need anything else to feel guilty about when it comes to parenting. We lay enough guilt on ourselves. If I don't keep my house clean, make dinner, and have enough time to make playdates and spend plenty of one-on-one time with Jaxon while working part-time, I feel like I'm failing. I know it's ridiculous, because I know I am doing my best, but it's still how I feel sometimes.
Anyway, back to the BabyCenter article. To my surprise, it was a very uplifting article. It talks about how we are all doing our best; we do this because we love our kids and want the best for them. We need to take bits and pieces of advice from books and from other moms, but realize that we can't do it all, and lighten up on ourselves. I found the information helpful, and it made me realize that, yes, I am doing my best. I am going to try to lighten up on myself. I thought I would provide the link just in case any other mom's out there need a little pep talk that they are actually good moms too. The article is called: Flawed & fabulous moms: Why great parenting isn't perfect. Here's the link:
2 comments:
Yay! We're all doing okay as moms. I sometimes feel inadequate, too, because I'm not Supermom. At last, someone has come out with a reasonable goal: do the best you can, and you're a good mom.
My motto is, and this is what I like to tell first time mom's who are worried about being a "good mom": You'll be a super mom but just remember that no one is "Super Mom"! Even though the girl down the street, your sister -in-law or whoever may seem to have it all together from the outside NO ONE really knows that for sure..and that's that. I think anyone can be a good Mom if they just sacrifice a little!
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